ASS JOKES

A*S*S JOKES

http://jokedictionary.blogspot.com/

What's the last thing to go through a bug's mind as it hits the windshield?

His as*s.

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One day, a blind man and his dog are walking down a street, they come
to a busy intersection, and the dog, ignoring the high volume of
traffic zooming by on the street, leads the blind man out into the
thick of traffic. This is followed by the screech of tires and horns
blaring as panicked drivers try desperately not to run the pair down.

The blind man and his dog finally reach the safety of the sidewalk on
the other side of the street, and the blind man pulls a cookie out of
his coat pocket, and offers it to the dog.

A passerby, having observed the near fatal incident, can't control his
amazement and says to the blind man, "Why on earth are you rewarding
your dog with a cookie? He nearly got you killed!"

The blind man turns partially in his direction and replies, "To find
out where his head is, so I can kick his ass."

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Two car salesmen were sitting at the bar. One complained to the other,
"Boy, business sucks. If I don't sell more cars this month, I'm going
to lose my fucking ass!"

Too late - he noticed a beautiful blonde, sitting two stools away.
Immediately, he offered apologies for his use of bad language.

"That's okay," the blonde replied, "I have a very similar problem ...
If I don't sell more ass this month, I'm going to lose my fucking
car!"

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Your mama is so fat and old that when God said "Let there be Light",
he told her to move her fat ass out of the way.

http://jokedictionary.blogspot.com/
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