Tag Archives: imibonano mpuzabitsina

Uko wamenya ko urimo gukoza aho umugore yifuza igihe muhuza igitsina

 

Ubundi ku banyarwanda cyane cyane ku gitsina gore kuko ndababwira ibi nk’umugore ukuze. Bwaba ari ubwa mbere bwaba ubwa kangaye kirazira ko muhita mwinjiza igitsina cy’umugabo mu cy’umugore [gucumita].

couple-in-bed

Nyine iyo mumaze kwitegura mwembi,mumaze kumvikana ujya hejuru yundi cyangwa niba mubikora mwicaye[ahanini ni nabyo byiza kwicara]bya bindi wavuze ko bigizayo imishino umwe hirya undi hino bakoresheje intoke ubundi guswera neza kugirango ushimishe umukunzi wawe.

Igitsina cy’umugabo cyashyutswe cyafashe umurego nicyo ukoresha ndetse umukunzi wawe umugore/umukobwa umuha uburenganzira akagifata akaba aricyo akoresha yigizayo imishino, ayikoza hirya no hino, hasi hejuru, ayitsirima kuri rugongo no munsi yayo cyane cyane kuri kariya nakwita agatini ka rugongo, icyo gihe intoke z’umugabo ziba zikinisha rugongo ziyitinura umugore akajya ayiziringaho umutwe wayo.

Ubwo umushyukwe uramutwara ukamurenga neza noneho imishino ikabyimba igahagarara, kwa kuyiziringaho hirya hino hepfo hejuru kuri rugongo ku mishino, noneho bivamo ibyo bita gukunuta vuba vuba rimwe na rimwe uwabanje gukoresha igitsina (cy’umugabo) aba ananiwe intoke kandi igicyina cy’umugore kiba kimaze kureta cyazanye amazi ahagije.

Ariko kandi wibuke ko cya gihe umugore ariho ayifata akayishyira aho yumva we ubwe ashaka yishimira ahamurya kuko niwe uba ahazi icyo gihe umugabo nawe aba amusomagura aho ashobora gushyikira cyane cyane mu mabere cyane cyane ku moko kuko imoko nayo irashyukwa ikarega wayikoraho ukumva imeze nk’akabuye kuko iba yashyutswe kuko burya ikorana na rugongo.

Ngarutse rero kuri kwa kwakuranwa iyo kimaza kureta kwa gukunguta nababwiye,hari abagore/abakobwa bashimishwa no gukomeza gukunguta kuko amazi aba arekereje gusohoka, noneho ayo mazi akamukirigita imbere noneho akaryoherwa aruko ameneka nta kuntu yameneka rero utayijungujemo imbere.

Hari nabandi bashimishwa no gucumitwa mu gihe imbere haba harese, mbese niwe ubikwibwirira kuko aba yatwawe, akabwira umugabo ati nsoka imbere, cyangwa ati yishyiremo ukaba rero wumvise icyo ashaka.

Naho ukunda kunyazwa iyo cyarese amazi yatangiye kuza,kuko nyine aba yatwawe arakubwira ati komeza ukubite,ndetse hari igihe umugore ayisingira akayinjizamo, noneho akayizunguza vuba vuba ukamwakira ukabikora nkuko yabikoraga,

Ndetse bene abo bagore barasohora n’abagabo amasohoro akaza kandi hari igihe murangiriza rimwe kuko iyo ari hafi kurangiza nibwo abwira umugabo ati cumita ati bigiye kuza ati biri hafi mbese utugambo nkutwo twinshi noneho umugabo agacumita yungikanya vuba vuba noneho mukaba murarangije rwose ukumva igitsina cye [umugore] kirakurura imboro[kinyunya ubwo`rero akiruhutsa nyine biba bigeze mu kadomo. Ngibyo nguko!!

Izi nyigisho zigenewe abashakanye cyangwa bari mu nzira yo kurushinga, ntabwo tuzitanga kugirango twigishe ubusambanyi, rubyiruko mwirinde ubusambanyi, mutegereze mwubake ingo zanyu, mutazanduriramo SIDA, imitezi n’izindi ndwara zandurira mu mibonano mpuzabitsina cyangwa mugatwara inda mutabiteguye kandi mutanafite ubushobozi bwo kurera umwana….mwe mwashakanye nababwira iki!

Ni gute wafasha umugore kurangiza

Kuri ubu, kurangiza ku bagore mu gihe cy’imibonano mpuzabitsina bisigaye ari ibintu bikunzwe cyane. Nubwo biri uku, siko byahoze mu myaka yashize kandi ntibyakunze kujya bibatera ipfunwe dore ko binashoboka ko benshi muri bo batari bazi ko bibaho.


Bamwe mu baganga n’abahanga mu bijyanye n’ihuzabitsina bemeza ko kuba hari abagore batakunze kugira amahirwe yo kurangiza mu gihe cy’imibonano mpuzabitsina nta kibazo byabateye haba ku mubiri no mu mibereho yabo muri rusange dore ko mu mpera z’imyaka (…)

Kuri ubu, kurangiza ku bagore mu gihe cy’imibonano mpuzabitsina bisigaye ari ibintu bikunzwe cyane. Nubwo biri uku, siko byahoze mu myaka yashize kandi ntibyakunze kujya bibatera ipfunwe dore ko binashoboka ko benshi muri bo batari bazi ko bibaho.

Bamwe mu baganga n’abahanga mu bijyanye n’ihuzabitsina bemeza ko kuba hari abagore batakunze kugira amahirwe yo kurangiza mu gihe cy’imibonano mpuzabitsina nta kibazo byabateye haba ku mubiri no mu mibereho yabo muri rusange dore ko mu mpera z’imyaka ya za 70, hari abari bakemeza ko bitanabaho ko ahubwo ari ikintu cyaremwe kikanamamazwa n’itangazamakuru.

Muri iki gihe ibi byose byarahindutse, abaganga n’abahanga bakomeza bavuga ko ari byiza kurangiza kuko bigira byinshi bihindura mu mubiri bikaba byiza kurushaho iyo bibaye kenshi mu gihe cyose yumva abishaka. Bimwe mu byiza byo kurangiza harimo kuba bitera amaraso kuba agenda neza mu mitsi, akaba yasinzira neza, bishobora no gufasha mu kwimara umubabaro n’agahinda.

Ese kurangiza k’umugore ni iki?

Abantu benshi ntibasobanukiwe no kurangiza k’umugore. Muri iki gihe, ibiba mu mubiri w’umugabo iyo asohora ni bimwe n’ibiba mu mubiri w’umugore iyo arangiza.

Mu yandi magambo, ku mugore ugiye kurangiza arimo akora imibonano mpuzabitsina habaho kwiyongera cyane k’uburyohe yumva mu mubiri bikagera aho bimurenga, akaba yatangira no gutitira, aha bikaba biterwa no kuba bimwe mu bice by’imyanya ndangagitsina ye igenda ikangwa n’igitsina cy’umugabo inshuro nyinshi mu madakika make, ibi bikaba bitandukanye n’ibiba ku bagabo iyo basohora.

Birashoboka kurangiza inshuro nyinshi ku mugore…

Irindi tandukaniro rinini riri hagati yo kurangiza kw’abagore n’abagabo ni uko nyuma yo kurangiza bwa mbere, abagore benshi bashobora kurangiza bwa kabiri ndetse n’izindi nshuro nyinshi biboroheye akenshi bikaba byaba mu gihe cy’umunota cyangwa ibiri, bikaba byanakomeza bitewe n’uwo barimo bakorana imibonano.

No mu bagore harimo itandukaniro kuko abakiri bato bashobora kurangiza kenshi cyane ugereranyije n’abagore bamaze gukura igihe cyose babishaka kandi babifashijwemo n’abakunzi babo babimenyereye dore ko ari n’ibintu umuntu ashobora kwiyigisha gahoro gahoro.

Ni byiza gutuma umugore aryoherwa birenze

Ku bagabo ikintu cy’ingenzi bakagombye kwitaho cyane ni uko umugore agera aho yumva uburyohe burenze atari uko bahatirije nkuko bikunze kugenda ku bagabo muri rusange. Biroroha cyane ku bagabo kugira ngo arangize iyo akora imibonano mpuzabitsina kabone niyo yaba adakunda uwo barimo bayikorana.

Mu miterere y’abagore siko bameze kuko kugira ngo bibeho bisaba ko umugore yumva ari mu gihe cyiza, agiye kubikorana n’uwo yiyumvamo, kuba yumva ashakwa kandi akunzwe no kuba azi ko uwo bagiye kuryamana afite ubumenyi buhagije bwo kugira ngo aryoherwe.

Mugabo aho uri hose, niba mu buriri udashobora guha umukunzi wawe ibyiza nk’ibi maze kuvuga haruguru, ntuzoroherwa no gutuma aryoherwa akaba yanarangiza, ibi kandi bikunze kubyara ibibazo byinshi ntiriwe mvuga. Uku kumufasha kuryoherwa birenze, akaba aribyo bikuraza inshinga nibyo bizatuma abasha kurangiza mu gihe cyose utegereje wihanganye.

Niba uri umugabo, ni byiza guhora wibuka ko gushyira igitsina cyawe mu cy’umugore bitamutera kuba yakumva ubwo buryohe burenze. Ibishobora gukorwa muri iki gihe kugira ngo bigerweho ni byinshi, fata akanya ubitekerezeho urabibona.